life has dealt me a huge blow, ontop on my mother-in-law dying, we have had family issues over the will, and then my son has this rare disease that decided to rare its ugly head again, which has meant, doctors visits where they just say well not sure and ummm perhaps some valium will help to ease his pain, oh and by the way can you use this chemist because i don't want to have to answer calls asking me why i am giving a 13 year old valium. Then more visits as the pain is progressing and well this time our gp sends me to the childrens hospital because he just doesn't know what to do - where the dr just says well he is obese and well if he is bound to have back pain - hello this does not help - so he just gives us panadeine forte and sends us home too - talk about banging my head against a wall - this is a problem we have had for 7 years i just wish we could find somebody to help us - as its not an easy thing to do to watch a child suffer.

Then to top that off, my daughter got hit by a car - surfice to say she is a very lucky girl, as although she was hit and went up the windscreen - she has come of unscathed (this disappoints her as she has no war wound to be proud of when she goes back to school), minor abrasions and bumps on the head and lots of internal bruising, but thank god that is all - so she too is on pain medication - lucky i am not one to think drugs will solve my problems as i have been given them all - they are just there if i was to want to end my sad run of bad luck

Now if you are reading this and thinking this sounds like a series of neighbours or home and away - i am sorry to disappoint you this is all true and yes this is just a little view into my life at present, putting it down on paper has made me wonder, if i am living in a soap drama, this is the kind of stuff you just don't believe. I know that i am totally dumbfounded with what has been happening and what is still to happen.

So this is why i have been quiet, i am still here just trying to survive.